Parents who are guests at an event often complain that this format of rehearsal dinner invitation wording means that they are not considered as parents because they couldn’t or didn’t contribute financially. Nothing could be further from the truth. If the son’s mother is a guest at the rehearsal dinner, she is given every honor due her as a mother: advantageous seating, a corsage if other female relatives have one, an early opportunity to toast if other relatives are toasting and so on. However, she will not receive RSVPs and she will be free to talk to her friends and family instead of greeting guests and making them comfortable as she is not the host. Both sets of names appear in the rehearsal dinner invitation wording only if both parents are hosts. This doesn’t necessarily mean that both parents are financing the party, only that both are doing the work of making it successful.
Rehearsal dinner invitation wording sounds like formal invitation only for formal parties. If a man gives a party, his wife is automatically the hostess if she is present. Rehearsal dinner invitation wording designates married couple as a couple. Unless the planned event is a sit-down dinner at a nice restaurant, you can avoid the entire issue of names and titles by using a more casual invitation format. For an informal party, it is equally appropriate to write – ‘Come celebrate and relax with Becky and John after the rehearsal. Join us at [time, date, and place]. RSVP to [parent who wants to receive RSVPs].’
Rehearsal dinner invitation wording need not give away unnecessary information. When people start squabbling over who is really the host and who has the right to be listed on the invitation, it is time to switch to neutral language and skirt the issue. It is also appropriate to start a formal invitation with ‘The groom’s parents invite you…’ without getting too specific about who is and is not a parent. It is also possible, if you’re using a very formal invitation, to simply write ‘The pleasure of your company is requested at a dinner in honor of Betty Bride and John Roe, [date, time, and place].
Actually the honor or dishonor of being included or excluded in the rehearsal dinner invitation wording will be forgotten by all but the warring factions before the dinner even takes place. The memory of family tensions at the dinner itself will linger in family legend forever. A rehearsal dinner invitation wording can begin with words like“Please joinus…”or “We invite you to a rehearsal dinneron the eve of the wedding of…”We have to use the formal title that the specific individual prefers in rehearsal dinner invitation wording.
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