Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldnt be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.
Todays couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasnt something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because theyll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.
If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, youre likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.
If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, theyre more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Dont accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, dont say so. Once youre in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.
Dont be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether youve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. Its never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And its never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that youre admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But thats not true. But facing any obstacles now, youre making the relationship stronger in the long run.
If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isnt perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isnt true. Just because youre willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that youre willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.
If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, theyre more likely to give it a try.
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