How I Became A Professional Baseball Heckler
I was previously a hapless kado ulang tahun untuk pria heckler. But I experienced no idea just how bad I was until the summer of 1996. It was then, while consuming a Jays game with a few friends, we pitched an especially bad line towards the Twins bullpen. Searching down on Greg Hansell, the collection was "Hey Hansell, where's Grettel?". Twins catcher Matt Walbeck switched around and said, 'You're the most severe hecklers I've ever heard in my life,'. It had been then I realized the necessity to improve my powers of harassment.
I went to bookstores, the library, and somewhere else I think of. Remember, this is 1996, and I didn't have got an internet connection... yet. As soon as I did, I posted the simple issue in a few newsgroups - "What is the funniest thing you've noticed yelled at a ballgame?" Soon there were dozens of suggestions, then it had been hundreds. Right now I've collected about 2500 of the greatest. Some the zingers?
* How's your Japanese?
* I've seen better arms on a snake!
* You couldn't conserve anything at WalMart!
* You've got less hits an Amish website!
* Take off your coat, you're inside!
* You couldn't throw a party!
* You couldn't pitch a tent!
* I thought just horses slept standing up!
* How will you eat with those hands?
* I'm gonna break your cane and shoot your pet!
* You've acquired fewer hits than Vanilla Ice!
* Hey, Dracula, awaken your bat!
* Do you want my autograph?
* Come on Cinderella, reach the ball!
Or a little edgier (But still family friendly)...
* You couldn't toss rice at a Chinese wedding!
* There is more heat within an Amish home!
* I've seen better strike and works in the ghetto!
* You're about simply because washed up as the Gulf Coast!
Plus some very original ones...
* This infields got more holes in it than OJ's alibi!
* I've got internet stocks in better form than you!
* I've noticed better sliders at White Castle!
* There's even more holes in his glove when compared to a Florida presidential ballot!
* I've gotten better calls from my ex-wife!
* Nice uniform, where's the Star Trek convention?
* This should be the Best 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling!
* I've seen a better move by U-Haul!
* This pitcher is pac-guy...walka, walka, walka, walka!
* You couldn't save a Word file!!
* I haven't seen a slide like this since Enron!
* The graphics on your personal website suck!
* Did you get that swing from GNC?
* Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq aswell?
Anything personal, racial, or obscene has no place at the ballpark. Neither will physical get in touch with like pouring beer on people or throwing coins - both method over the line. You stay safely from the collection with lines that are topical, witty, and original. For instance in Dodger Stadium shortly after the brawl in stands a few years ago, which was started when someone snatched the cap of Chad Krueter's head -- a enthusiast behind the Dodger dugout yelled at Chad : "Hey Kreuter, I just bought your cap on eBay!" Which was a fantastic line meeting those 3 criteria.