The human mind is a funny thing. We believe that everything we do is our own thoughts. For example, we get married, have children and go to work. Apart from these obvious collective human traits we take for granted, the rest of the time we are individuals.
These things that we do are paramount to our happiness and make sense. And everything we do, like that, we do ourselves because we want too. Most of us go through life never ever thinking any different.
But what happens if something comes along to lift that 'veil' that we wrap ourselves in so cosily, to make ourselves comfortable. If something suddenly makes you see the world clearly for the first time in your life, what would you do, or more importantly, think?
As we grow and reach our teenage years, the thoughts that make us individual tend to get pushed to the back of our minds. At this stage of our lives we tend to be collective. A bit like the Borg in Star Trek. We go to the pub or bar, follow our friends to the nightclub, or just stay at home, and watch the sport on TV. Looking back, we don't remember who's idea it was to do these things, we, just as any group around the world, do these things because that's what other teenagers do.
But when we get older, we presume that most of us will grow out of this collective idea, and start out on our life's journey. A singular person with our own minds.
But How Much of This Is Manipulation?
let's start at the most important day of your lives. Getting married. you meet, fall in love and then decide to take the plunge that will join you together with your partner for life. Or however long you decide that you can both work at the marriage, without actually killing each other! But that's beside the point. So, on the surface you are doing what you want to do. And are happy. But after a few years or even months, something subtle starts to happen. One of you becomes more dominant.
Manipulation is a very quiet, silent alteration of the brain. In other words the way that you think, may not actually be 'you' thinking. For example, you have always gone out with your friends at the weekend. One day your husband decides that actually he would prefer you to stay in that night. You do it willingly because you love him. But what happens the next week? Or the weeks after that? You start to feel uncomfortable and decide that you would be better off staying in because you don't want to cause any hurt feelings. After a while, you come to believe that it was your idea in the first place.
Have you ever seen a man or a woman start acting strangely after being married for a while? it's because jealousy starts to rear it's ugly head. The films you watch, the places you go to, are all decided subconsciously because you want to make sure that your husband or wife does not get into the situation where they may meet someone else, or find them attractive. After a few years their whole lifestyle is based on avoiding these particular points. But if you asked them why they didn't go to that club, or watch that TV show, they would both state that they didn't like it, or it was boring. Subconsciously they were doing the 'avoidance' dance.