I have read numerous articles regarding the awful thoughts about needing to reveal trauma facts for your t, although I am hoping this is not completely ridiculous. I'm dealing with the other.
I I want to talk, but cannot have several 'issues' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to a grownup that I trusted in HighSchool as being a maternal figure that later showed she had other ideas for the connection... And what is daily becoming more of the certainty that I've repressed very early punishment (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my speech in my own brain which isnot pleasant exchange of words)... I've NEVER told details of ANY of this stuff. I've mentioned to 2 people who "anything" happened with this person that was the level and I trusted. I am plagued small movie in my mind of the ones from the by pictures and now these sounds of what I suspect.
Does this seem sensible to ANYBODY? I understand I would be REMARKABLY embaressed to express what exactly I'd have to and that I hope it'snot something ill making me want to... But I am so worried we shall spend years tiptoeing round the facts because he thinks I'm worried and I am seriously wanting to spill the beans. I hope I could tell him this, but it isn't allowed.
I am working together with at and have found that I can not tell him ANYTHING if he does not ask. I've told him this and he is proficient at looking to ask me questions. The thing is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I understand it may sound completely insane, however it is like I am prohibited to just readily tell things but I'm allowed to answer honestly. He has gone forth and back about 'control' injury and then I think I am so quiet about things happening he doesn't believe they begins to consider we have to get another way and are. I get angry when I hear him obtain really frustrated and discuss not addressing the injury especially and wish to quit trust about actually getting relief. It's like I AM AWARE I've to obtain out these details but I can not tell him that. I believe he's also worried I can't manage coping with the trauma directly because of my anxiety attacks, but I really don't learn how to alter some of this. He covers trying to take action with as small detail and injury that you can and I have read about every one of these new methods to cope with PTSD without detailed control, but I need it bad.