Cambridge dictionary defines violence as 'actions or words that are intended to hurt other people." Many times we say things that hurt others like talking about their families, their background, their intelligence level or even the famous 'mchongoanos' that hurt more than make people laugh. Others even go to the extent of hitting their friends or writing something nasty about them online or even saying lies about them to their friends. The question that arises from this is, where exactly do these violent tendancies stem from?
The two basic conditions that are said to produce violent tendancies in children are (1) the person being hurt and (2) A person who is not well understood. When someone is spanked, hit or threatened with violence, they will have a tendancy of becoming violent themselves. Sexual abuse and emotional neglect are also hurts that lead to violent tendancies. parents should therefore be careful not to instil such tendancies in their children.
A child who is not well understood and who has not been allowed to release emotions resulting from being hurt can also become violent. This is a way of releasing their frustrations and feeling better about themselves. Also important to note is the fact that when a child has been a victim of violence and their feelings bocked and repressed, they become violent as a way of releasing their anger and frustrations.
Parents should be very careful to note signs of violent behaviors in their children so as to be able to deal with them. Some of these behaviours include: Extreme impulsiveness, extreme irritability, frequent loss of temper, becoming easily frustrated and intense anger. failing to note this behaviours early will result in having violent children capable of commiting all kind of offences without a care in the world.
One common mistake that parents make is giving very harsh punishments for minor mistakes. The physical punishment given to children by their parents may be one of the main reasons for violence in children because it results in them becoming angry and expressing it through hitting other children or abusing other children and their siblings. Parents should also come up with strategies to lessen violent tendancies in their children which may include:
(1) Preventing child abuse, (2)Monitoring child's viewing of violence in TV and films,(3) Do not be intimidated by your child- your child will not hate you because of a little discipline when they do wrong, (4)Being a role model for your child, (5)Don't abuse your spouse and expect your child to be good,(6) Improving verbal communication skills so that your child can express their feelings, (7)Challenge the idea that masculinity is always aggressive, (8)Reduce your family's tolerance for violent behaviour.
Parents should also be careful not to be pleased when their children fight back in self-defence when playing with other children in the playground. if all these can be adhered to, the world will be a stress free world for parents, teachers, neighbours and family members who do not always have to deal with disobedient, aggressive children due to lack of interest in trying to understand their children or providing a safe environment where the children can grow in character and in tolerance of other children.
Let us also teach our children to express their feelings when hurt. Dying in silence results to violence which most parents do not even know how to deal with. One recommendation that I can give is that incase you are unable to control your own child's actions, seek help from other parents or a psychologist because the problem might be bigger than it appears on surface level
Well, Thanks for reading. I hope this information will help you one way or the other.