Monday, June 29

Today was the first day, I tried so hard to not think about you and concentrate on what I chose. I thought that as long as I'm trying I'd never have to look back to what comfort me the most. I thought when I decide to face my pain alone I'd never need to look for someone to hold me back, and promise me that everything is going to be okay. 

But it hit me, right away. right after I woke up the next morning without getting a text from you. I can't say that I need you to miss me, I can't say that I envy your strength, but I really do.. Its a matter of time. People change I know, but what's behind that? what made them change? 

I was tired today, but am not really sure why? is't because of my illness or because of you. My heart aches but am not certain why, is't because of my pills? or because of missing you.