I am sitting in my room and I just realize that in the past one week no one has visited me. Then I realize that I just dropped the last friend I had two weeks ago. In case you are wondering why I had to drop my one and only remaining friend then by the end of this article you will agree with me and probably drop yours too. I report to school on time so that I can be able to register for my courses on time. Usually, course registration is normally done on the first two weeks of opening school. Anyone who reports after the two weeks is not only not allowed to register but also has no list of courses to choose from. This is because immediately the two weeks elapse, the list is removed from the notice board. My friend reports to school three weeks after the opening date and is thus a victim of these consequences. So what does she do? She will have to do each and every unit that I chose including my electives. Elective units are those we choose according to personal preferences. Being late also I have to update her of the classes that have started, when and what time they are and those that are yet to start. All this I do religiously because she is my friend. To her I am her link between the department and her. This friend of mine is also very forgetful incase I didn’t mentioned that. So on top of updating her I also have to remind her one hour before the class begins. If I don’t, then she will not attend the class because I informed her on a short notice. How can this be short notice when I gave her all the information on the classes on her late reporting date? To her I am her alarm. Short notice amounts to not attending classes. Not attending classes means she has no notes. I attend all the classes and take notes because that is what brought me to school. I can’t sleep the whole day because at the end of the end of the day I will have to look for pain killers for my back. My friend did not attend class so I had to sign the class attendance list for her. Also the notes that I am writing are not mine alone. So I have to be as accurate as possible because another person is going to use the notes too. To her I am her personal secretary cum assistant. Thank God for the end of semester examinations because my notes or rather our notes get into use. She did not bother to copy them so we have only one source; my note book. I am supposed to be this good friend to reach an agreement on how we are supposed to read for exams using this one note book. She cannot copy them since the semester has come to an end and photocopying them it is a waste of money as the notes will not be used again. To her I am her friend send from heaven. Now to the reason as to why I broke our friendship. Did I mention that my friend reports late to school? What I didn’t say is that she also does not book herself a room to stay in. She buys it from a person who had the trouble of logging into the students’ portal, book a room, queue almost the whole day to get a green form after confirming that she has nil school fees, pick her mattress and sign into her room. For one reason or the other she is not going to stay in her room and therefore has to sell it to the likes of my friend. This time round my friend was not so lucky to get one I had to lie to stay into my room, because despite being a heaven sent friend I can never agree to stay with her for reasons well known to myself. One day she comes late to my room from ‘cutting water’ and in the wee hours of the morning vomits on my bedding. Alcohol or any other food stuff only smells good when going to the mouth but you won’t like it when it comes out either through the mouth or the normal way of getting rid of waste products. When drunk what we have locked up in our minds come out and my friend blurted it all out just because I woke her up to prevent the not so good smelling vomit from socking into my mattress. She said that I have never liked her especially the fact that she was staying in my room and that I have always looked for a reason to kick her out. Lucky enough my roommate was not in and I had to finish the rest of my sleep in her bed. When I woke up the first thing was to kick my one and only remaining friend out of my room and also out of my life. I have officially accepted that I have no friend and moved on with my life. Whoever that wishes to make friends with me and does not have the above discussed qualities is free to apply.