'Remodeled' - Feb 1 - "The Gummy Bear"

A few weeks into the new CW series Remodeled, it finally becomes clear what Paul Fisher is actually trying to accomplish with his Network. The idea is that small modeling agencies around the country should not have their models stolen (yes, stolen is the preferred word) by the big bad boys in New York or Los Angeles. Instead, all the smaller agencies get to be linked to Fishers Network, they all get to keep their money (so does Fisher!) and they also get to keep their models. Modeling agencies in Idaho and South Dakota can survive, and everyone is happy.

At least in theory. First, Paul Fisher and his team have to travel around the country to clean up the small agencies so that they are up to Network standard. For the first couple of episodes, Fisher has been showing a tremendous amount of patience and quite a bit of heart. In this weeks episode, he kind of lost it. The viewers got to see that Paul Fisher is not really some selfless Savior of the Little Man in the big, scary fashion industry. No, this guy is definitely a business man.

Fisher, his super-creepy assistant Joseph and Network agent Olga travel to Orlando, Florida to rescue the waning modeling agency Emerge Talent. The owner of Emerge, Holly Caputo, and her staff work in a garish purple office with no air-conditioning and its logo on a Xeroxed piece of paper on the front door. They have 900 models/actors/entertainers on their roster, and Paul goes on a comp card killing spree, shouting: THIS is not a model! THIS is not a model! This.! (You get the idea.) Meeting some of the Emerge models, Fisher is quite cruel, even for a modeling agent. (Some agents are so mean, they make Freddie Krueger look like Elmo.) Youre over the hill at 20, he tells one girl, and another one gets the nickname Gummy Bear, brought on by her not-so-perfect smile.

Joseph, not any less cruel, adds: Im one foot shorter than these people, and Im still a better model than them. (This statement actually explains more about his poorly hidden aggression than he probably ever intended. Too short to be a model? Instead hes working for a modeling agency, driving a moody boss around and having to deal with primadonnas all day? Hmmm.)

The Emerge staff is sent out to scout for new faces, having to bring some back within 24 hours, while the entire current roster is being dumped. The bunch of aspiring, but not quite adequate models that are brought back the next day have Fisher once again losing his cool and bringing to mind various synonyms for the b-word. He now continues to yell at Holly Caputo for not joining her staff on their scouting journey, and her response is a show-stopper: Youre lucky Im even here today. This makes Fisher pull out the Do you know who I am? card. Enough said.

Meanwhile, Network team member JT has brought rookie model Annelise (the one with the gap between her teeth and all the tattoos) to Los Angeles for some castings. This girl failed to book any jobs at New York Fashion Week and was sent home. Olga still believes in her. JT and Paul dont.

Annelise doesnt book the job that has her wearing bright orange, 8-inch heel shoes. Then she goes on a Silver Jeans casting, and everything points to her not booking this one either. (She needs the jeans in a size 25 instead of 24, shes got tattoos that need covering up!) But what do you know, in true reality series fashion, (pun intended) it turns out the powers-that-be actually love her, and the editor has done a fine job of creating a surprising triumphant moment. And yes, JT has to eat his words.

The purple modeling agency in Orlando gets Remodeled. Sleek, new offices, cool colors! (The strong possibility that central air-conditioning could not be installed in that 24-hour period is never mentioned, though. But keep em sweating.)

And Olga has been working hard, scouting the streets of Orlando for a new roster of models. Theres the new group, displayed in all their flawless-skin-and-long-limbed glory, ready to be painted up and told to hunch their backs like Quasimodo. Emerge Talent is saved, and even Holly Caputo has been won over.

You are hereby strongly encouraged to catch the next episode of Remodeled, on CW Wednesday 9/8c.