Anybody Desperately Want To Tell About Trauma But Can't Until Asked

I have read a lot of articles regarding the awful feelings about needing to disclose injury details for your t, although I am hoping this is not completely ridiculous. I am dealing with the other.

I've many 'problems' that I'm conscious of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to an adult that I trusted as a maternal figure that confirmed she'd different ideas for your relationship in HighSchool... Then what's daily becoming more of the guarantee that I have repressed very early punishment (I've always had dangers but am not reading his and my style in my brain and it isn't pleasant change of words)... I have NEVER told information on ANY of this stuff. I have mentioned to two individuals who "anything" happened with this particular person that was the extent and I respected. I am plagued small movie in my head of those I remember by pictures and now these comments of what I suspect.

Does this seem sensible to ANYBODY? I know I'd be EXTREMELY embaressed to convey the items I expect it'sn't anything sick building me wish and I would need to to... But I am worried we shall spend years since he thinks I'm frightened, tiptoeing round the specifics and that I am seriously wanting to pour the beans. I hope I could tell him this, however it is not allowed.

I have found that I can't tell him SOMETHING if he does not ask directly and am dealing with a t. I have told him this and he is proficient at wanting to ask me questions. The problem is, I can also not tell him what to ask. I understand it might sound absolutely insane, however it is much like I'm not allowed to only freely tell things I want to talk, but cannot but I'm permitted to answer honestly. He's gone backwards and forwards about 'handling' injury and then I think I am so calm about things happening that he does not think they starts to consider we need to go another direction and are. I get so disappointed after I hear him speak about not addressing the trauma exclusively and obtain quite depressed and need to stop hope about actually getting relief. I can not tell him that although it is like I AM AWARE I've to obtain these facts out. I believe he is also worried I can not handle working with the stress directly as a result of my panic attacks, but I donot know how to adjust some of this. I would like it so bad and I have learn about all these new techniques to take care of PTSD without detailed processing, although he discusses wanting to do it with as little depth and stress that you can.