Anybody Desperately Need To Tell About Stress But Can Not Unless Asked
I have read so many articles regarding the horrible ideas about having to reveal stress details for your t, although I hope this is simply not totally mad. I'm dealing with the alternative.
I've several 'issues' that I am conscious of from I want to talk about my trauma an emotionally/verbally abusive step-father to an adult that I trusted in HighSchool as a maternal figure that showed she had other tips for the relationship... and then what's daily becoming more of a confidence that I have repressed very early punishment (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my voice in my own head and it isn't pleasant change of words)... I've NEVER told details of some of this stuff. I've mentioned to two people that "anything" happened with this particular person that was the extent and I respected. Images, small movie within my head of those from the and now these comments of what I suppose plague me.
I'm dealing with a t and have found that I can not tell him SOMETHING if he doesn't ask. I have told him this and he is proficient at trying to ask me questions. The issue is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I know it might seem absolutely insane, however it is much like I'm banned to only freely tell things-but I'm allowed to answer. He has gone backwards and forwards about 'control' injury and then I believe I'm so silent about things happening he doesn't believe they starts to think we have to go another way and are. I get so upset after I hear him want to give up trust about ever getting relief and acquire very frustrated and discuss not addressing the trauma specifically. I can not tell him that although it is like I AM AWARE I've to acquire these facts out. I think he is also worried I can not manage coping with the stress immediately due to my anxiety attacks, but I don't understand how to transform some of this. I need it so bad and I have learn about all these new methods to cope with PTSD without detailed handling, although he talks about looking to take action with as small depth and injury that you can.
Does this make sense to ANYONE? I know I would be HIGHLY embaressed to convey what exactly I expect it isn't something ill making me want and I'd need to to... But I am worried we'll spend years because he thinks I am afraid, tiptoeing across the details and that I am desperately attempting to pour the beans. I wish I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.