Anybody Desperately Want To Tell About Stress But Can't Unless Asked

I have read a lot of articles regarding the awful thoughts about being forced to reveal stress details for your t, although I am hoping this isn't totally ridiculous. I'm coping with almost the alternative.

I've many 'problems' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step-father to an adult that I trusted in high-school as a maternal figure that showed she'd other tips for that connection... Then what is daily becoming more of a confidence that I have repressed very early punishment (I've always had risks but am not experiencing his and my style in my head which isn't satisfying change of words)... I've NEVER told details of some of this stuff. I have stated to 2 people who "something" occurred with this particular person I respected and that was the level. Photographs, short movie in my own mind of those I recall and now these voices of what I suppose plague me.

I have found that I can't tell him ANYTHING if he does not ask directly and am working together with at. I have told him this and he's great at trying to ask me questions. The thing is, I may also not tell him what to ask. I know it may seem absolutely mad, however it is much like I'm not allowed to simply readily tell things but I'm permitted to answer honestly. He's gone forth and back about 'control' trauma then I think I'm so quiet about things happening that he does not think they starts to think we have to go another direction and are. I get disappointed when I hear him wish to stop hope about actually getting relief and acquire extremely depressed and discuss not addressing the trauma particularly. It's like I AM AWARE I've to obtain these details out-but I cannot tell him that. I think he's also concerned I can't handle dealing with the stress directly due to my panic disorder, but I really don't learn how to adjust some of this. He discusses injury as you can and trying to take action with as little detail and I have read about every one of these new solutions to deal with PTSD without detailed handling, but I would like it bad.

Does this sound right to ANYBODY? I know I would be HIGHLY embaressed to express the items that I wish it isn't something ill building me want and I want to talk about my trauma I'd have to to... But I am worried we will spend years because he thinks I am afraid, tiptoeing round the specifics and I am desperately wanting to spill the beans. I wish I could tell him this, but it isn't allowed.